Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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