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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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