I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
