It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
