U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
