Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
