i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
