once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He shit in the fireplace
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
