see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
