the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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