Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
