On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
