What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did i walk over a car last night?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
