why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
