is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
