This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
