cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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