i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
