So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This house was built for laser tag.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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