We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We're too hungover to prance.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
