i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
