She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
