dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
