Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
