I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
