just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
