you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
