Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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