Where is the hickey?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize