We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
