dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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