he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
