i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
4 words: hood of his car
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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