I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
