The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
