Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
