areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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