If i come over, it means nothing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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