I just saw a hot homeless man
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
a search helicopter?!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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