She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
