? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
