Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
3pm strippers are depressing
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
