just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
