Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
