Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Be still, my beating vagina.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
