Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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