But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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