I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
