so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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