she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
