When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
