Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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