he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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