never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
