i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
