It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
