I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
